Thursday, May 21, 2009

long time no blog...

Long time no nothing...except box after box after box since March something or other when I became "unemployed". Imagine the fun I've been having with that...throw in two days on the road sandwiched between uhaul trucks, and numerous internal battles, mix in a few weeks without Prozac, add MIL and Mr. W non-stop 6 days a week and you get Me...a train wreck waiting to happen or volcano ready to blow or countless other analogies.

I was on a roll with my creative, free-spirited side for a bit. Was being a key term, I haven't done a painting or drawing in weeks. The last one I did was in April. I haven't blogged in who know how long, no creative release there. I'm in a creative slump as the day to day grind sucks the life out of me. To put it all in perspective, I have no one but myself to blame for my current state of being.

Rewind to the day I became "unemployed", my actions during that time, set a plan I thought to be just talk into fast forward mode with a lot of help from outsiders, The plan became a reality very quickly. In fact, too quickly for my procrastinating self to do anything about it without crushing the delicate lives of the three people I love most, my kids. A character flaw, if you will, passed on from my mother. Sacrifice your own happiness for that of your kids...guess I should have taken away from her suffering that sometimes it isn't worth it and your kids will turn out to be good people anyway. At least I think we turned out to be good people....there are some who would say otherwise. I'm quite sure.

I've totally lost my train of thought on this...the only thing I can say is that I am left with some very difficult choices to make and a whole lot of praying, that the decisions I make are the right ones, to do. At this point, I'm putting this in God's hands and His will. That's all I have right now. I'm mentally spent.

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