I have officially fallen off the weight loss wagon and I am totally pissed off at myself for doing so! I am the only one in control of the crap I shove down my throat and have no one but myself to blame. UGH!!!
With that being said, all I have to do is regain control of my impulse to eat when I am stressed. Easier said than done, but I can do this before I gain back the entire 12 pounds I lost and then some. My future is too bright to have my own self-destructive behavior create guilt and negativity. Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow I will track everything I put in my mouth. 26 points is plenty to get me through the day. Food is not my friend. Food is not my friend. FOOD IS NOT MY FRIEND. FOOD. IS. NOT. MY. FRIEND!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Relay for Life
Today, I had the honor of chaperoning my daughter's Relay for Life team at a local relay. Let me tell you, today has been wonderful!
From the opening lap led by survivors and caregivers with other teams standing around the track cheering them on, to the luminaria ceremony. You just cannot describe the emotion as bagpipes lead survivors around the track followed by all other participants. The track was lined with luminairias in honor/memory of those fighting, lost to, or survived cancer. There were 27 lit in memory of Mr. Wonderful...moving in itself, but to see them all lit...whew!
They also projected all the messages on luminairias on a screen for all to see...it was overwhelming! As we came by his lit bags, the kids and I placed our candles by the bags we donated in his memory.
My candle had burned out a few steps into the first lap, but I place it beside it anyway. The next time around, someone had placed a lit candle in front of it. Very touching gesture from a stranger.
I am wiped out emotionally, mentally and physically, but it has been worth every bit of it to be a part of such a wonderful cause...hopefully the cause will eventually lead to a cure for this terrible disease that does not discriminate when it comes to victims.
It is now 11:42 pm...i just need to get through the next 7.25 hours so I can go home, wash off the 14 layers of sunscreen, sweat, and grime from the day and become one with my bed...
From the opening lap led by survivors and caregivers with other teams standing around the track cheering them on, to the luminaria ceremony. You just cannot describe the emotion as bagpipes lead survivors around the track followed by all other participants. The track was lined with luminairias in honor/memory of those fighting, lost to, or survived cancer. There were 27 lit in memory of Mr. Wonderful...moving in itself, but to see them all lit...whew!
They also projected all the messages on luminairias on a screen for all to see...it was overwhelming! As we came by his lit bags, the kids and I placed our candles by the bags we donated in his memory.
My candle had burned out a few steps into the first lap, but I place it beside it anyway. The next time around, someone had placed a lit candle in front of it. Very touching gesture from a stranger.
I am wiped out emotionally, mentally and physically, but it has been worth every bit of it to be a part of such a wonderful cause...hopefully the cause will eventually lead to a cure for this terrible disease that does not discriminate when it comes to victims.
It is now 11:42 pm...i just need to get through the next 7.25 hours so I can go home, wash off the 14 layers of sunscreen, sweat, and grime from the day and become one with my bed...
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sunshine, smiles, and clarity...
April is upon us and sunshine is bountiful in Arizona! My grass is coming out of dormancy and starting to thicken up. Plants and trees are in full bloom and the smell of orange blossoms fill the air. I wake to fresh air blowing through my windows and the sounds of birds chirping out their wake up call. The occasional sound of a woodpecker tapping away on a neighboring rooftop brings a smile to my face.
But, that's not the only thing bringing a smile to my face these days. I am very much enjoying watching my kids come into their own, personalities that were once hidden beneath the surface are starting to blossom. Watching them be who they are is an amazing feeling! I am, in my own way, also beginning to blossom. I never thought being myself was, or ever would be good enough, but it feels incredible to be just me...nothing more, nothing less, just me!
I am free, to not only be myself, but to make decisions for myself. I have struggled with some life changing decisions over the past couple of months, not sure which direction to set sail. I have prayed for guidance and perhaps answers at times. My neighbor told me that I "would know", it would be "very clear" to me which direction to lead my journey. Every day that passes, the answers I seek have not only presented themselves. They have also provided the clarity and perspective I desperately needed. And it really is "the simple things" in life that prove to be the ones that mean the most. My life is truly blessed!
But, that's not the only thing bringing a smile to my face these days. I am very much enjoying watching my kids come into their own, personalities that were once hidden beneath the surface are starting to blossom. Watching them be who they are is an amazing feeling! I am, in my own way, also beginning to blossom. I never thought being myself was, or ever would be good enough, but it feels incredible to be just me...nothing more, nothing less, just me!
I am free, to not only be myself, but to make decisions for myself. I have struggled with some life changing decisions over the past couple of months, not sure which direction to set sail. I have prayed for guidance and perhaps answers at times. My neighbor told me that I "would know", it would be "very clear" to me which direction to lead my journey. Every day that passes, the answers I seek have not only presented themselves. They have also provided the clarity and perspective I desperately needed. And it really is "the simple things" in life that prove to be the ones that mean the most. My life is truly blessed!
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