Mall Rats, Migration, and Mullets

Let me preface this post by saying, "I don't get out much." This fact became abundantly clear Friday evening.

You see, my oldest child, at the ripe age of 11, attended the birthday party of a friend. The "party" consisted of meeting at the mall and being set free to "shop" as they pleased, without adult supervision.

Mr. Wonderful and I, being the over protective parents that we are, decided it would be best if I (not sure how I always draw the short straw, but...) followed behind at a distance, keeping the girls at least within sight. This "following at a distance" lasted about as long as the attention span of a gnat. When the girls entered the first store of the evening, Build a Bear, I made a call to Mr. Wonderful and played my BULLSHIT card. There was no way in HELL I was following six girls around the mall for another THREE hours, especially after working all day!

After playing my BULLSHIT card, sucessfully at that :), I batted my eyelashes a few times and earned myself Chili's for dinner! Two victories in my corner already and the night was still young. After seeing that our oldest child was well and good, Mr Wonderful took Middle Child and Monster Man and went home. I set out to find Birthday Girl's mom and the second set of over protective parents. I found them in the food court anxiously waiting for 9pm to roll around.

Here is where the "I don't get out much" quote comes into play. While the other parents chatted away, I zoned out and "people watched". I must say, I did get my fill of "Emo", skinny pants, crazy hair and make-up, tight clothing, and butt cheeks. My mom always taught me not to stare, but I'm sure I was staring. In fact, I KNOW I was staring! Not because I was being rude, but because I was in culture shock for the second time in my life. (The first time was when we moved to big city Fort Worth from small town Ohio.)

With all that being said, here are my (biased, I'm sure) opinions on my observations at the mall...

I now know what students mean when they talk about "Emo", not a fashion trend I'm "down" with, nor ever will be, but I can now relate. To each his/her own...I guess.

Skinny jeans...WTF?? Boys and Girls? This is something I will never attempt to wear or let my own kids wear. They look absolutely hid-e-ous! Now, if they come out with some "Thick Jeans" style, I'm all over that. Until that day, I'm sticking with my mid-rise, full-cut denim.

Now, I can vouch for crazy hair and make-up. I mean who hasn't wanted to be bold on occasion and not had the guts to do so? I'm all about taking risks when it comes to hair! Especially since I've went from 80's hair band hair to shaved neck in the past month and from dirty blonde to auburn this weekend. AND, I'm wearing midnight plum nail polish which looks nearly black and green eye shadow to match my shirt. I'm tired of the same old brown shadow and red pollish. I'm tired of being in hair and make-up limbo, so I TOTALLY understand the craziness in that area.

I can't say the same about tight clothing,, but I will say this...there are certain things that some people should NOT wear in public! Such as jeans 3 sizes too small (I'm not sure how that chic was still breathing!)...4 inch spike heel boots and a leather lace up top. Come on lady, my daughter is shopping here too! BY HERSELF! Show some modesty for Chrissake! As for the tight clothing...no spandex after 12, please? I saw a woman wearing spandex and I was ready to take cover if she blew, I was seriously scared!

In the 90 minutes I spent zoned out, people watching, I saw more butt cheek than I ever care to see the rest of my life. What is the point of wearing a skirt THAT short? Again, where's the modesty?

Oh and same sex relationships? I know they exist, but I guess I was a tad off on my perception of "how many". My last weekend visit to the mall must have been before Ellen came "out of the closet"!

I really do need to make a habit of getting out more often, without the kids. Just to sit and people watch, to ensure that the next time I find myself in a similar situation I will NOT be in culture shock!

Migration...

This weekend, although I suffered culture shock, was beautiful weather wise. It was bright and sunny, mid 70s, a nice breeze blowing...you get the picture. As I walked to the mailbox to retrieve the 23 pounds of catalog delivered daily, I stopped and stared in amazement. (Staring seems to be a problem with me these days.) The recipient of my stare this time was not freakish dress or tight clothing, but a monarch butterfly in route to Mexico for the winter (I'm assuming). Butterflies have always caught my eye, so to speak. The right colors, the ease at which they float through the air, the simplicity of life and the freedom they possess. What amazes me about the monarch, specifically, is that the last bunch to hatch for the season is instinctively bred to migrate, for the winter, to Mexico where they gather from all over North America by the thousands and "wake" in the spring and return to their "homes" further north. It just blows my mind that an insect, AN INSECT!, is capable of such greatness to ensure survival of the species.

Mullets...

This is a public service announcement...
Please be warned that mullets are out in full-force! Yes people, "business in the front, party in the rear" in BACK! I witnessed it myself at CiCi's Pizza Saturday evening. I innocently walked in to pick my order, which wasn't ready, when I saw it! I had taken a seat to wait for the overly cheerful CiCi's employee to retrieve my order from the kitchen when I looked up and saw it, plain as day! A woman walked up to the register with "ears cut out" and hair past her bra in the back! Once again, I caught myself staring. This time wondering who the fuck let her out of the salon looking like THAT!

I really do need to get out more often!