A Family Tree project for my 4th grader requires information beyond my knowledge. To gain the knowledge and information required to complete this High School level project, I start making calls to all corners of the United States. (Can't imagine the backlash from parents if I gave this same assignment to my Jr. High students!) Anyway, I call the mother-in-law (MIL) who is full of information. Great! Fantastic! Next call to my mother who is not so full of information, but able to give me what I needed. She knows nothing of my father's side since they have been divorced for going on 20 years (a story for another day). Next call goes out to my father who knows not shit about his family!! I asked him when his dad was born..."I don't know, maybe 1924-25" OK, good...how old is he then? "Don't know, 83-84." Fuck DAD! You're a load of help! What about your mom, gotta know that one...right? WRONG! "Sometime in April." If you don't know your own parents birthdays, I'm guessing you won't be able to tell me what country the family originated, will ya? "Yeah, NO...why don't you call my mother and ask her."
Before I continue on here, a little background is necessary....
My dad's side of the family has never been close. I haven't actually seen that set of grandparents in over 5 years. Our only form of communication is through a yearly Christmas card sent from my house to theirs with a picture of the family enclosed for her "family album". So I really shouldn't be surprised at the next few minutes of phone calls.
Against my gut instinct, I make the call to Grandma Audrey. The conversation begins with, "Hello" "Grandma Audrey? " "Yeah" "This is Monica" followed by dead silence on her end..."Hello? Grandma? Hello? Are you there? Hello?" silence "I'm here." I proceed to explain why I am calling. She "knows nothing about my side, let me ask Ed" Again, silence followed by a short Ed do you know anything about your side of the family? and a quick reply back, "No, Ed doesn't know anything about his side either. Anything else?" Silence, this time on my end...I wasn't sure where to go from there. So, I said "Well, that's all I needed." To her credit, she make a weak-ass attempt to ask about the family. By weak-ass, I mean WEAK-ASS! (Honestly, why bother if you don't mean it.)
I hang up feeling bewildered that my own grandmother is so cold and heartless. Like I said before, this shouldn't come as a shock. She's always had her favorites and I wasn't one of them. I always knew it, this just confirmed it. That sits kind of heavy on the heart, even at my age.
I'm still not sure what the hell I ever did to that woman, but I will not be calling her again anytime soon. I guess I don't need to wonder why my dad is the way he is any longer, I KNOW!
Project is finished, I will hang on to the information I gathered tonight to save myself the pain of going through THAT again!
1 comment:
Yikes! Sounds like my dad-aunt feud that's gone on for 20+ years, but they all talk...just stab in the back regularly! :-D
You'd hope that age and time, realizing what they've missed over the years, should have made that phone call a chance for them to start over with you. You'd think!! I'd have been frozen in shock at the abrupt answers. How do you respond to that?? Just unreal.
What is it with some teachers assigning monstrous projects? She proving her power?? Or maybe doesn't want to teach that topic? Been there, dealt with that, shitty situation.
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