Wednesday, June 4, 2008

May I be of "Ass"istance?

OK, so I'm standing in front of my full-length mirror observing my red and white striped back when I catch a glimpse of my ass...cough...gag...WTF happened back there?...apparently sunburn against pasty white ass enhances cellulite dimples! When did my ass turn into what looks like a doughnut that has been through a hail storm? How does something like that happen and I not know? In shock from the sight I have just caught a glimpse of, I turn to grab the hand mirror (you know, to get a better look), and I catch a glimpse of my profile...cough...gag...swallow the little bit of throw-up in my mouth...WTF happened there? I have a flap hanging over my cesarean scar! I know I've eaten a few too many cheeseburgers this year, but dang! I will admit that it is not as bad as that time, 30 pounds ago, when I got the hair brained idea to do a naked jumping jack, but shit... it was close! You need motivation to exercise or diet, do a naked jumping jack. I guarantee the shock of seeing and hearing your girls slap on your rib cage will motivate your ass to do whatever it takes! I definitely need to dust off all that exercise equipment that has been collecting dust for years and put it to good use. I need to lay off cheeseburgers too...that's gonna be a tough one for me. Guess it wouldn't hurt to get out the food diary and scale again either...summer goal, lose the 15 pounds I put back on this year! Wish me luck! And, by the way, regardless of size...I will NEVER EVER, as long as I live, EVER do another naked jumping jack in front of the mirror! That vision still gives me nightmares!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

PASS on the naked jumping around, well unless it's dark with Mr. FixIt and....ok, sorry. Will scrap that description before you have to choke back more vomit! :-D

Two full length mirrors in our bathroom have me numb to the sight of what would have totally made me freak out 10 years ago, 5 years ago even. Though I think that view is part of what motivated me to get on and STAY on the elliptical and actually watch what i was eating, kept an eye on the carbs and calories, drank tons of water for almost 2 months with hardly a smidgen of loss. Then a week with my mother shoving my failure status in my face just made my will power/motivation pull a Houdini. That should motivate me further, to work harder, right? Guess not, and I'm getting tired of fighting it. Tired of talking myself into being motivated, and trying to convince myself "you can do this." I don't know if I really don't care, or if I've fussed/cared/worried about it so much over the years that I'm tired of caring because I know no matter how much I care and try, it doesn't seem to do much good.