Summertime blues...

I apologize in advance for any eyesight damage that may occur from reading this blog.

First of all, my schedule thus far this summer has been busier than it was two weeks ago. Don't get me wrong, I don't have the stress of work right now, but my schedule is jam packed and I'm not the one adding to it. Between soccer practice and games, baseball practice and games, and dance practice twice a week, we have something going nearly every day of the week. Toss in a visit from Mr. Wonderful's uncle, an 50th Anniversary party, and Father's Day to top off the week and I'm tired before it even starts. Today I spent, by my own choice, creating a unique anniversary gift. From designing, cutting, fusing, quilting, and now finishing embroidering (something I just today learned how to do), I am creatively brain dead! In fact, I should be finishing the last 4 numbers right now, but instead I'm blogging.

Schedule by itself, I can handle...Mr. Wonderful's fickle mind, I cannot. That brings me to topic #2...Mr. Wonderful. We found land, both liked it, was approved to buy and last night Mr. Wonderful throws a wrench into that plan. He is all of a sudden "not sure this is right". OK, news to me, that's the first I've heard anything other than I love it and I can do this and I can do that and the kids can do this and you can do that....and this is what our house will look like and our driveway here and that there....and I can have a tractor... and we're close to mom... After a morning of prodding and pointing out to him that I couldn't deal with him being miserable all the time, which he denied, and he needed to tell me what the hell his problem was...he finally let it out. And it went something like this...I had a good job in NC then my dad had to die (13 yrs ago) and I had to move back to OH to take care of my mom, then I met you and we all know what happened there and...whoa, wait a second...you trying to tell me you wanna get rid of me?...No, but I took this stupid job at the bank and I don't feel like I do anything and I've been there 11 years and my degree is in agri-business and I don't like my job and we haven't been camping since Oct. and it's too hot to fish now and I've taken 10 vacation days and none of them were for me, I took 3 for kids field trips and I took 7 to go to OH over spring break for you...hold on!...I think we visited more of your family and friends than mine...so don't say you did it for me...and I hate this stupid state it's brown in the winter and green for a couple months before the sun bakes the grass to brown where it stays for another 9 months and nothing grows here without watering three times a day and then doesn't produce which really pisses me off after all that work and if we get this land and build then we are stuck here in this stupid state and I'm stuck in my stupid job and...and...and...and I'm not teaching my kids a good work ethic working from home and...that's all I can remember right now, I'm sure there was more.

I pointed out that his miserable attitude has been on (mostly) and off since about Jan. when he was griping about the cold. Of course now, he's griping about the heat, last month was that it never just rains here, we have major thunderstorms with hail and flooding and crazy shit that doesn't happen in the perfect world. He keeps throwing around the idea of moving to Phoenix which I have to remind him that he bitches about the heat here what's he gonna do there? He's still tossing around moving to Tampa which leaves me jobless and friendless and no support system which I told him today I wasn't comfortable with. Then this evening he was tossing around OH or at least I think he was...when he approached me with the question of what do you do with an inground pool when it snows? HUH? You won't even put in an inground pool in TX, why the hell would you think you'd have one if you lived in OH? Maybe Mr. Wonderful would benefit from a healthy dose of Prozac...I don't know...I'm gonna need it if he doesn't figure out a solution to his problem soon! Maybe I'm the problem and should remove myself from the situation and let him fly on his own and figure out what makes him happy...I really don't think it's me.

Oh, and he's expecting me to teach myself how to play the piano and in turn teach the kids...not gonna happen. Yes, I took piano in college, but that was 14 years ago...that shit went out the window about two beers into graduation celebration and long since forgotten, but apparently I should be able to dig deep into my saturated brain and miraculously pull that small tidbit from the abyss of a mother of three, four if you count him, five if you count the dog, six if you count the lizard... "Not gonna do it, just wouldn't be prudent at this juncture" There was something else he was requesting of me today too...oh yeah, the dreaded garage sale. I would much rather donate my unwanted shit to charity than to have my front lawn piled full of outgrown clothes and old furniture and outdated decor and a ton of stangers analyzing it all...I HATE GARAGE SALES!! Yes, it forces me to clean closets, but it is not worth the $18.24 that I might make in doing so. Last time garage sale came up, I drug my feet until the night before and had a "meltdown" and got out of it...wonder if that would work again?

Just in general, I don't like him working from home in the summer...it drives me up the freakin wall. Especially when he swaps days and call in "sick"...I've had two days of him at the office since summer break began...and he has some vacation time scheduled here and there to boot...that puts a serious crimp in my daily plan of doing nothing until 3pm, because we all know that it doesn't take all day to clean the house, we just make it look that way. I can whip out a good head to toe on this house in 2 hours flat...I'm beat when I'm done, but it can be done.

For the record, there is absolutely NOTHING worth watching on TV this late at night! Again, my apology for any eyestrain that may have occurred! Sometimes MEN SUCK!